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Mental Health

September 16, 2020

Mental Health

Mental Health is probably the most important part of ones self to take care of. If you can not love your self how can you love anybody else?

Recently my mental health has fallen off the wagon. I stopped focusing on what was important self care, family and friends. I say self care first , because truly how do you expect to care and help others if you can't do it for yourself. 

When I was younger I went through Sexual Abuse, and Mental Abuse. It really took a tole on me which, spiraled into a self/world hating drug addiction. I started drugs at 14 as a blackmail method to the person that abused me, and I didn't stop till 27. 

I truly was tired of being a heroine junkie. I've overdosed 6 times, put a gun to my head  pulled the trigger only for it to miss fire. I knew there was something more for my life so I sought help and learned how to live a whole new lifestyle.

Over the years I stopped practicing what I learned and put it on the back burner. I no longer journaled, or sought support from my piers. I went back to the I can do alone attitude. During which time I got married, and started a family.

Boy let me tell you things got stressful. Soon I found myself getting frustrated with everything and everyone around me. My life felt like one big pile of stress and it was me against the world. 

Being the man of the house, the most pressure is on you. You have to be the leader, provider, and role model. I don't know about you, that's a crazy amount of stress to put on yourself plus all the stresses of the world. 

I've made many mistakes don't get me wrong, but I haven't given up. I want to make sure I leave something for my kids that I never had, and be the best husband that my wife deserves. I want to make a positive impact on this world whether it be big or small. I want to help as many people as I can, and be the best BIG BELLY BOY I can.

I've started back with journaling, tonight I am using this blog as a form of journal. I am taking self help courses, and I am about to start couples counseling with my wife to make our relationship as strong as possible. The first step I took though was telling someone how I was feeling, and to talk about my problems. 

We can't make it though this world alone, we have to lean on each other and help each other to succeed. 

Which brings me to my favorite quote of all time, "The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing"

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